Today was really tiring.
I got out of bed really early because I had terrible stomach cramps.
I'm so sad. My kitten got run over this afternoon. I found him when I was coming home from school. His head was all squished. I took some photos. I'll miss him. Poor kitty.
Last night I had to shave my entire body. Apparently, the lice that I caught from Amanda's friend are really hard to get rid of. I look quite strange with no hair and eyebrows. I'd post pictures, but my webcam is broken.
I am updating this journal for the first time in ages, because I've been in prison.
Today, I got a digital camera! Yes! Here's ten thousand photographs of my cat.
I want to say thanks to my dad for giving me my own computer and digital camera. Here's a photo of my room. The weather in Ontario is cold. I have nothing more to say.
I went to the doctor yesterday, and he said I have bipolar disorder, and a healthy imagination.
That's enough for now. But I'll leave you with this thought - sharing your life with strangers on the internet is the cheapest form of therapy available. Leave a comment and tell me I'm beautiful.
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4.24.2007
1.31.2007
Dead Wrong
If only I knew what I know
I'd make it a point to say so
To everyone that got me here
And everyone that made it
Clear I was dead wrong all along
You said it for my sake
That I would not lose my way
When I was astray ...
I'm doing the best that I could.
Trying my best to be understood
Maybe I'm changing slowly
I get out, turn around.....
Knew I was dead wrong all along
You said it for my sake
that I would not lose my way
When I was dead wrong all along
Mine is not a new story
Mine is not a new story
Mine is nothing new
But it is for me
So I was dead wrong all along
You said it for my sake
I don't, would not, lose my way...
I'd make it a point to say so
To everyone that got me here
And everyone that made it
Clear I was dead wrong all along
You said it for my sake
That I would not lose my way
When I was astray ...
I'm doing the best that I could.
Trying my best to be understood
Maybe I'm changing slowly
I get out, turn around.....
Knew I was dead wrong all along
You said it for my sake
that I would not lose my way
When I was dead wrong all along
Mine is not a new story
Mine is not a new story
Mine is nothing new
But it is for me
So I was dead wrong all along
You said it for my sake
I don't, would not, lose my way...
11.13.2006
Blind
I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless
As you turned around to leave
And still I have the pain
I have to carry
A past so deep
That even you could not bury if you tried
After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more
Than you will ever know
And part of me died
When I let you go
I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything
Would be like it was before
But nights like this
It seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor
After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more
Than you will ever know
And part of me died
When I let you go
After all this why
Would you ever want to leave
Maybe you could not believe it
That my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more
Than you will ever know
And part of me died
When I let you go
That I loved you more
Than you will ever know
And part of me died
When I let you go
I watched helpless
As you turned around to leave
And still I have the pain
I have to carry
A past so deep
That even you could not bury if you tried
After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more
Than you will ever know
And part of me died
When I let you go
I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything
Would be like it was before
But nights like this
It seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor
After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more
Than you will ever know
And part of me died
When I let you go
After all this why
Would you ever want to leave
Maybe you could not believe it
That my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more
Than you will ever know
And part of me died
When I let you go
That I loved you more
Than you will ever know
And part of me died
When I let you go
10.25.2006
goodbye, my lover - james blunt
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.(x2)
I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.(x2)
And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.(x2)
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.(x2)
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.(x2)
I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.(x2)
And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.(x2)
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.(x2)
5.22.2006
3.20.2006
Y'all come back now, ya hear?
Virginia was the rad-coolest thang ever.
Although, I suppose Virginia is more of a place than a thing.
I wonder if posting pics off of my compy works? Let's learn!
Okay. So I just did. I was trying to upload a pic, but I think I'll leave that for another day cuz I'm currently trying to upload a freak show movie from our road trip back up to Canada, and that's at about 75% completion after only about 15 minutes of uploading, which is pretty darn good for our internet. Now all it has to do is cut out at 98% and say there was an error. That's what happened last time.
*shakes fist*
*Nobody reads this!!!*
Although, I suppose Virginia is more of a place than a thing.
I wonder if posting pics off of my compy works? Let's learn!
Okay. So I just did. I was trying to upload a pic, but I think I'll leave that for another day cuz I'm currently trying to upload a freak show movie from our road trip back up to Canada, and that's at about 75% completion after only about 15 minutes of uploading, which is pretty darn good for our internet. Now all it has to do is cut out at 98% and say there was an error. That's what happened last time.
*shakes fist*
*Nobody reads this!!!*
3.07.2006
Congratulations, Rach & Mike!
Once upon a last night my sister and her husband made a difficult decision and are going to be moving out to yonder St. Kitt's. Heritage should consider itself lucky, taking on such a distinguished personage as Michael. Amazing, the places life takes us to. Not like St. Kitt's is exactly an exotic locale or any such thing, but it's just neat to see life's path unwinding before us. I just wish I could see over the Great Wall of China that's seemingly blocking my road. Or, to be more metaphorical, I wish that the sun would burn off the fog which is making this a rather tedious journey. I don't even know. I'm just rambling now.
I feel like posting more pictures. How about....things like childhood memories of Rachel....
Except, oh, this is annoying. Start from the bottom and work your way up with these pictures, because the order you see them in is the opposite order of how I posted them.
And now I look at this post and see how useless it is. But now that I've gone to all the effort of posting those pics, I'm not deleting them. Too bad for you.
K, switching gears a little bit here. Gears switched - Playmobile and Legos were always a bit part of the Mussche girl childhood. Good, good times....
This man is doing something fiddly, something which Rachel was constantly doing at home. I just don't see how she had the patience for it. Not only would she construct odd, fiddly contraptions, but she would draw these insanely amazing fiddly pictures of like, lions and stuff. Serious skill there.
For Christmas every year, Rachel would always ask, without fail, for "a puppy". Also, pretty much every week on the grocery list, we would invariably find "puppy" smuggled in amongst notes of needs for eggs, milk, tangerines, cheese, etc. We never did get a puppy. Maybe someday Rachel, your dream will be reached and you'll get a puppy. Til then, however, isn't this a nice Labradoodle?
Kiddie pools were a large part of our childhood. We would trek out to Canadian Tire and pick one up. We'd set it up the first bloomin' hot day of summer. We'd take it out of the box and it would reek like fresh plastic and the hose would get set inside and we'd fill the pool up but we couldn't really use it right away as soon as it was full because the water would be so cold.
One time, Rachel and I played circus. I was a seal. She was the RingMaster. Maybe that experience is the reason that I've never been overly fond of the circus.
The End.
wow, I am so useless....
I feel like posting more pictures. How about....things like childhood memories of Rachel....
Except, oh, this is annoying. Start from the bottom and work your way up with these pictures, because the order you see them in is the opposite order of how I posted them.
And now I look at this post and see how useless it is. But now that I've gone to all the effort of posting those pics, I'm not deleting them. Too bad for you.
K, switching gears a little bit here. Gears switched - Playmobile and Legos were always a bit part of the Mussche girl childhood. Good, good times....
This man is doing something fiddly, something which Rachel was constantly doing at home. I just don't see how she had the patience for it. Not only would she construct odd, fiddly contraptions, but she would draw these insanely amazing fiddly pictures of like, lions and stuff. Serious skill there.
For Christmas every year, Rachel would always ask, without fail, for "a puppy". Also, pretty much every week on the grocery list, we would invariably find "puppy" smuggled in amongst notes of needs for eggs, milk, tangerines, cheese, etc. We never did get a puppy. Maybe someday Rachel, your dream will be reached and you'll get a puppy. Til then, however, isn't this a nice Labradoodle?
.jpg)
Kiddie pools were a large part of our childhood. We would trek out to Canadian Tire and pick one up. We'd set it up the first bloomin' hot day of summer. We'd take it out of the box and it would reek like fresh plastic and the hose would get set inside and we'd fill the pool up but we couldn't really use it right away as soon as it was full because the water would be so cold.
One time, Rachel and I played circus. I was a seal. She was the RingMaster. Maybe that experience is the reason that I've never been overly fond of the circus.
The End.
wow, I am so useless....
3.06.2006
The first search page on Google
K. I'm trying to post pics again. This time, it's for that thing that I stole off of Amanda's site that she stole off of Rachel's site. I'm pretty flipping sure that I won't be able to post these pics, though. And if they don't work, you'll never read this, so why do I even bother typing this much?
Find and post an image from the first Google Image page for each topic:
1: the town you were born in (Hamilton)
2: the town you live in now (Glanbrook - I ACTUALLY KNOW WHERE THIS PICTURE WAS TAKEN!!!. Isn't that weird? So, so weird. I thought it looked familiar, and then I looked again and read the caption and looked a few more times and I was like HEY! That's the back pond! Weird.)
3: your name (Lauren - I'm a Cinderella Woman!)
4: your grandmother's name (Jenny)
5: your favourite food (casserole)
6: your favourite drink (ice tea)
7: your favourite smell (the scent left by the rain)
Well, that was fun. I just had to post everything in backwards mode and with no layout and it worked. I think. At least, I can see the images on my post screen. Can YOU see them? Please, please say yes.
Find and post an image from the first Google Image page for each topic:
1: the town you were born in (Hamilton)
2: the town you live in now (Glanbrook - I ACTUALLY KNOW WHERE THIS PICTURE WAS TAKEN!!!. Isn't that weird? So, so weird. I thought it looked familiar, and then I looked again and read the caption and looked a few more times and I was like HEY! That's the back pond! Weird.)
3: your name (Lauren - I'm a Cinderella Woman!)
4: your grandmother's name (Jenny)
.jpg)
5: your favourite food (casserole)
6: your favourite drink (ice tea)
7: your favourite smell (the scent left by the rain)
Well, that was fun. I just had to post everything in backwards mode and with no layout and it worked. I think. At least, I can see the images on my post screen. Can YOU see them? Please, please say yes.
2.22.2006
Collide lyrics
It seems that all I do these days is post Skillet lyrics. Well, they rock, so it's allowed.
We have fallen
We have fallen again tonight
Where do we go from here
When they’re tearing down our lives?
When all they want is
When all they want is
For us to live in fear
How long can we hold on?
Can we hold on?
Hold on
There’s something deep inside
That keeps my faith alive
When all you can do
Is hide from the fear
That’s deep inside of you
Something, something, something
Something, something, something
To hold me close when I don’t know
There’s something deep inside
That keeps my faith alive
We are healing
But it’s killing us inside
Can we take a chance?
When faith and fear collide
We can make it
Step out and take it
We can’t live feeling so numb
How long can we hold on?
Can we hold on?
Hold on
There’s something deep inside
That keeps my faith alive
When all you can do
Is hide from the fear
That’s deep inside of you
Something, something, something
Something, something, something
To hold me close when I don’t know
There’s something deep inside
That keeps my faith alive (2x)
We have fallen
We have fallen again tonight
Where do we go from here
When they’re tearing down our lives?
When all they want is
When all they want is
For us to live in fear
How long can we hold on?
Can we hold on?
Hold on
There’s something deep inside
That keeps my faith alive
When all you can do
Is hide from the fear
That’s deep inside of you
Something, something, something
Something, something, something
To hold me close when I don’t know
There’s something deep inside
That keeps my faith alive
We are healing
But it’s killing us inside
Can we take a chance?
When faith and fear collide
We can make it
Step out and take it
We can’t live feeling so numb
How long can we hold on?
Can we hold on?
Hold on
There’s something deep inside
That keeps my faith alive
When all you can do
Is hide from the fear
That’s deep inside of you
Something, something, something
Something, something, something
To hold me close when I don’t know
There’s something deep inside
That keeps my faith alive (2x)
2.07.2006
killing time
For some unknown and puzzling reason, I do not have the capability to post pictures onto this blog. Very, very frustrating, as I've attempted to post pictures from the ATF Skillet concert four or five times now. Silly AOL. I would use stronger language, but I don't plan on it. That doesn't go together, which is okay.
Hawk Nelson is amazing.
Having this blog gets me nowhere at all.
Hawk Nelson is amazing.
Having this blog gets me nowhere at all.
under my skin lyrics
Skillet
Under My Skin
When I feel you close to me
It’s easy to believe
To the depths and back again
To find that I’m still needing
Feel the fear dissipate
When you are everything you are
Feel my soul come awake
You carry me away
When I hurt, when I bleed
You’re holding me
Feel you scratching at the surface
Under my skin
Oh, under my skin
Oh the sweet serenity
I’m beautifully addicted
You are more than I can take
I crave you undiluted
You calm the ache, I come awake
When you are everything you are
Feel the fear dissipate
You carry me away
When I hurt, when I bleed
You’re holding me
Feel you scratching at the surface
Under my skin
Oh, under my skin
Oh, yeah
Could I be lost
Could I disappear
Could I be lost
Would you find me here?
Could I be lost in a secret place?
Could I rest in the shadow of your face
Oh the sweet
(Could I be lost, could I disapper?)
Serenity
(Could I be lost, would you find me here?)
Beautifully
(Could I be lost in a secret place?)
A part of me
(Could I rest in the shadow of your face?)
When I hurt, when I bleed
You’re holding me
Feel you scratching at the surface
Under my skin
Oh, under my skin
*Oh, how I love Skillet's lyrical amazing-ness. Plus, they absolutely ROCK live (quite literally)
I tried to post some pics of the concert and 'meeting the band' but, alas, I failed.
Under My Skin
When I feel you close to me
It’s easy to believe
To the depths and back again
To find that I’m still needing
Feel the fear dissipate
When you are everything you are
Feel my soul come awake
You carry me away
When I hurt, when I bleed
You’re holding me
Feel you scratching at the surface
Under my skin
Oh, under my skin
Oh the sweet serenity
I’m beautifully addicted
You are more than I can take
I crave you undiluted
You calm the ache, I come awake
When you are everything you are
Feel the fear dissipate
You carry me away
When I hurt, when I bleed
You’re holding me
Feel you scratching at the surface
Under my skin
Oh, under my skin
Oh, yeah
Could I be lost
Could I disappear
Could I be lost
Would you find me here?
Could I be lost in a secret place?
Could I rest in the shadow of your face
Oh the sweet
(Could I be lost, could I disapper?)
Serenity
(Could I be lost, would you find me here?)
Beautifully
(Could I be lost in a secret place?)
A part of me
(Could I rest in the shadow of your face?)
When I hurt, when I bleed
You’re holding me
Feel you scratching at the surface
Under my skin
Oh, under my skin
*Oh, how I love Skillet's lyrical amazing-ness. Plus, they absolutely ROCK live (quite literally)
I tried to post some pics of the concert and 'meeting the band' but, alas, I failed.
12.03.2005
pictures, sorry for the disorganized layout
look, it's carina's new dresser. woohoo. nice stuff, huh.
And Danielle and Carina's tidy kitchen.
Ooo, look, the Labradoodle that isn't actually the Tigchelaar's, but looks like Cooper...
And Danielle and Carina's tidy kitchen.
Ooo, look, the Labradoodle that isn't actually the Tigchelaar's, but looks like Cooper...
5.02.2005
just for the heck of it
oh look. apparently i have an account here. awesomeness. uhhhh so actually i'm not supposed to be online b/c its the week and i've been banned from msn during the week. not like blogging is msning. but its the same idea, being online, killing time that SHOULD be being used for fruitful things, like homework. but whatever. my dad's at a meeting, mom's at rach and mike's apartment, trying to figure out the carpet cleaner. or, they were, an hour ago. they should be home soon so i have to type uber fast so mom doesnt tan my hide when she gets home.
hmmmmmmm....nice how i have like 5 blogs. 2 LJs, a blogger/blogspot, a multiply, xanga and an msn space. so that = 6. whatever.
wow. good thing amanda bought the barlowgirl cd on friday. i've fallen in love with various songs.
gads. joe just told me i should ask dave out. as if. that's his job, even if it IS mine to ask him to prom. good thing i'm going to prom sadie hawkins style. i'm debating whether i should ask him this weekend at Ruben's house/ Port Dalhousie, or wait til next weekend after the volleyball tourney/play. i'm thinking this weekend. i dont know why. but maybe its b/c i havent seen him for almost 3 weeks and its killing me.
anywho. whatever. good thing i'm venting in here. from now on, maybe i'll make blogger my outlet. just as long as i dont forget about it. i probably will, knowing me.
i'm exhausted. i'm sick of this constant fatigue. good thing those bloodtests i had were thoroughly useless and didnt prove anything. stupid medical people. FIND OUT WHATS WRONG WITH ME b/c its so frustrating not knowing. and here's to hoping that we can afford a chiropractor for me. stupid snowboarding injury. in addition to other things. i wish my head didnt hurt everytime i move it or put my backpack on or THINK about putting my backpack on.
okay, lauren, thats enough venting for the night. good thing your LJ readers didnt have to deal with that.
*think happy thoughts......friday.....friday....friday.........shiese, you're pathetic. and you cant spell shit in german either.
good thing i still have to do the dishes. today is weird.
okay i'm done. really. for real this time. i need to take my cd player off of "repeat" b/c its gonna kill this poor track.
hmmmmmmm....nice how i have like 5 blogs. 2 LJs, a blogger/blogspot, a multiply, xanga and an msn space. so that = 6. whatever.
wow. good thing amanda bought the barlowgirl cd on friday. i've fallen in love with various songs.
gads. joe just told me i should ask dave out. as if. that's his job, even if it IS mine to ask him to prom. good thing i'm going to prom sadie hawkins style. i'm debating whether i should ask him this weekend at Ruben's house/ Port Dalhousie, or wait til next weekend after the volleyball tourney/play. i'm thinking this weekend. i dont know why. but maybe its b/c i havent seen him for almost 3 weeks and its killing me.
anywho. whatever. good thing i'm venting in here. from now on, maybe i'll make blogger my outlet. just as long as i dont forget about it. i probably will, knowing me.
i'm exhausted. i'm sick of this constant fatigue. good thing those bloodtests i had were thoroughly useless and didnt prove anything. stupid medical people. FIND OUT WHATS WRONG WITH ME b/c its so frustrating not knowing. and here's to hoping that we can afford a chiropractor for me. stupid snowboarding injury. in addition to other things. i wish my head didnt hurt everytime i move it or put my backpack on or THINK about putting my backpack on.
okay, lauren, thats enough venting for the night. good thing your LJ readers didnt have to deal with that.
*think happy thoughts......friday.....friday....friday.........shiese, you're pathetic. and you cant spell shit in german either.
good thing i still have to do the dishes. today is weird.
okay i'm done. really. for real this time. i need to take my cd player off of "repeat" b/c its gonna kill this poor track.
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